why?

"Why won't you marry me?"

Her eyes ae narrowed, cast in a slight haze from the neon bar sign, her words straight and pointed, coated slightly from the beer she had been drinking. She fumbles in her black leather coat, producing a pack of cigarettes, and like clock work puts in in her dark plumb stained lips, pops the lighter, lights it and inhales.

"I thought you gave up smoking"

He asks, one eye brow raised.

"You make me smoke" is all she says, her eyes closed as the smoke burrows it's way into her clothes and hair, she'd have to shower later, they both think.

"You didn't answer my question"

"I don't have an answer you haven't already heard"

"You're fucking infuriating" she scoffs, "Your answer are bullshit, that's why I keep asking"

He stares at her, all beauty and rage, big ideas and complicated feelings.

"I want to be in a better place --"

"Obviously I don't want you to fucking ask me outside a nasty bar"

"That's not what I meant" He rolls his baby blues.

"I just don't get it"

"I know"

"I don't think you do, what the fuck are you waiting for?"

"I've told you this, multiple times"

"You don't even talk about it anymore, you used to, all the time, now it's real and you've taken a monastic vow of fucking silence"

"I have not --"

"Why won't you marry me?"

"Because, you know why"

Her eyes lock on him, their green color non-existent in the night.

"You want to be in a better place, blah, blah, blah, I don't care we could DIE tomorrow, we don't have a million years for you to decide you want to me we--"

"How am I suppose to love you the way you deserve when I can't even fucking love myself!"

The sentence heard round the world. She takes another drag, staring at him.

"I love you"

She pauses. "I love you enough for the both of us, let. me. love. you"

They enter the same staring contest they always do, and she always wins, beckoning him to respond, to change his mind, but he never does. She flicks her cigarette on the ground, stomping it out with a black booted foot.

"Let's go home" she smiles weakly, and hold out her hand.

He takes it and they begin the journey home.

***

author's note:

Inspired by the complicated reality of relationships at times, this little number popped in my head and wouldn't leave. A punchy and dialogue driven scene, I wanted to see how much I could convey the frustration and longevity of the conversation the characters are having, while also showing the two sides, the vulnerability, and the dynamic the two have.